


What If?

by Sleep_Is_For_The_Weak



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek Hale, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - No Hale Fire (Teen Wolf), Bisexual Sheriff Stilinski, Bisexual Stiles Stilinski, Dead Kate Argent, F/F, F/M, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pack Dynamics, Protective Derek Hale, Soft Stiles Stilinski, The Hale Family (Teen Wolf) Lives
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:34:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24589171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleep_Is_For_The_Weak/pseuds/Sleep_Is_For_The_Weak
Summary: What if Derek knew how to be an alpha? What if Scott wasn't so stubborn? What if they all bonded rather than argue? What if it was all in a group chat?
Relationships: Allison Argent/Scott McCall, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Vernon Boyd/Erica Reyes
Comments: 10
Kudos: 137





	1. What If We Met In A Different Way?

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written in this fandom, so please let me know if anyone's too off character. And yes, I know Derek isn't as stabby, and his trust issues are nowhere to be seen, but in this universe, the Hales moved away after Kate attempted to kill them. So yes, he will have some trust issues, but I'd like to think he'd be softer, more likely to teach than intimidate.

What If We Met In A Different Way?  
Chapter 1  
*Catwoman has added Failwolf to ‘Is That A WereWolf?’*

Catwoman- Got him bossman

TopDog- This isn't what I meant when I said I wanted to talk to him

Failwolf- What the fuck?

Softboi- Scott, this is Derek. He knows your a werewolf because your a dumbass

Rockman- *you’re

Failwolf- I have no clue what you’re talking about. Werewolves aren’t real

Catwoman- I’d believe you if you didn’t suddenly grow a shit ton of muscle, and start flashing your eyes at literally everyone

Failwolf- Coincidence

Softboi- Stiles is with you, isn’t he

Failwolf- How’d you know?

Softboi- You can barely spell your own name, and I’m pretty sure coincidence isn’t even in your vocabulary

Catwoman- Plus you guys are always together

Rockman- Do you have no one else to talk to?

Failwolf- Stiles got so offended he fell off the bed, lol

TopDog- Are you sure it’s safe to let him know everything?

Failwolf- He figured out I was a werewolf before i did, not sure i’d be alive if he wasn’t there to help me keep control

Softboi- Should we add him in?

TopDog- If he’s just going to read all of it anyways, might as well

*Failwolf has added Smartie to ‘Is That A WereWolf?’*

Smartie- Finally, it’s hard reading over Scott’s shoulders when they’re bigger than my entire existence

Softboi- You guys are basically the same size

Smartie- But he’s all muscle now, I’m barely a noodle

Catwoman- Aw, poor baby. Did your bestie actually do something in his life?

Smartie- Walked into a wall like a dumbass, yeah

Rockman- Can we talk about the chain incident?

Smartie- No.

Failwolf- No.

Softboi- Yes

TopDog- What chain incident?

Catwoman- Alpha knows, now you have to tell us

Smartie- I may have bought a bunch of chain to keep Scott secured for the full moon

TopDog- And why do my betas all know about this?

Rockman- Tell him where you kept the chain

Smartie- In my lacrosse locker…

TopDog- You can’t be serious

Softboi- And what happened next Stiles?

Smartie- I opened the locker to get my gear for practice, and it all fell out

TopDog- Oh God

Catwoman- And then?

TopDog- Please tell me there’s not more

Failwolf- Coach walked in

TopDog- Your luck must be shit

Softboi- He took one look, said I don’t want to know, and walked back out

Smartie- To be fair, I’ve done weirder things around him

TopDog- Weirder than chains falling out of your locker?

Smartie- Way weirder

Failwolf- It’s become a thing now, if Stiles does something weird in any of his classes, the teacher tells coach, and he brings it up to get Stiles to stop talking during class

Smartie- I think he has a filing cabinet just for all of the shit I’ve done

TopDog- Damn, I only got a folder

Smartie- You got a folder?

TopDog- Yep

Catwoman- You sound so proud of being a delinquent

Softboi- His bad boy vibes extend even to his childhood Erica

Failwolf- That reminds me, who the hell are you?

TopDog- Derek Hale

Smartie- Shit, really? Coach still has the magazine cover of the last game you were in on the wall in his office

TopDog- Nice

Failwolf- Are you back in Beacon Hills?

TopDog- Yes. It was supposed to be temporary, but I stumbled upon a shit ton of monsters, and dumbass puppies, so now I’m stuck here

Smartie- Lol

Catwoman- Who’re calling dumbass, dumbass?

Softboi- I’m not a puppy!

Rockman- Derek, you chased a frisbee and then sat at the base of the tree it got stuck in. Try me wolfman

Smartie- I’m loving this conversation

TopDog- I’m hating it

Failwolf- I feel like we got off track from the conversation you guys were originally planning

Catwoman- What can we say, Stiles distracted us

Smartie- That’s what everyone says!

Softboi- Stiles, ever think it might be because you do dumb shit?

Smartie- Yes, and then I ignore it because I can do no wrong, obviously

Rockman- You wrote an essay in economics about circumcising

Smartie- I didn’t know we were going to have to read them out loud! That’s dumb, we’re not little kids

TopDog- I regret moving back


	2. Peter and Police Don't Mix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek has to save his uncle from a jail cell, only to almost end there himself later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long, school+Covid=a messed up schedule. Hope y'all like this, and let me know which characters you actually want to see. I have some plans, mainly Jackson and Malia for some fun bs, but it'll take a minute to get there. Thanks for reading!

Smartie- Hey Derek?

TopDog- Yes Stiles?

Smartie- Are you related to a creepy, middle aged man who looks kind of like he’s the living embodiment of a gargoyle?

TopDog- Yeah. He answers to Peter

Smartie- Can you tell him to stop hitting on my dad? It’s making everyone at the station uncomfortable

TopDog- Station?

Smartie- My dad’s the sheriff

TopDog- Why is Peter at the station?

Smartie- To hit on my dad? I dunno dude, just fix it

TopDog- Don’t call me dude. And I don’t control him

Smartie- Aren’t you an alpha or something? Can’t you use your wolfy magic to make him leave?

TopDog- I’m an alpha, but I’m not his alpha. Throw water or something on him, he’ll have to leave eventually

Smartie- Update, the water just made him redirect his attention onto me. If he doesn’t stop, I have a feeling he’ll be spending the night in a holding cell

TopDog- Fine, I’ll come get him

Catwoman- Damn, guess those Stilinski genes attract creepers

Smartie- You have no idea

Rockman- Does he know you’re underage?

Smartie- I’m not sure. You’d think the murderous auras of every cop here would clue him in

Softboi- Why’re they all so protective of you?

Smartie- I stayed at the station a lot as a kid, so they were all those family friends parents tell their kids are aunts and uncles. Then some personal stuff went down, and they went into overdrive taking care of my dad and I for a couple of years

Failwolf- Didn’t they all place bets on when our parents would get together?

Smartie- Yep, I think they keep updating the dates and crap because they can’t believe their just friends

Failwolf- Have they not seen the way your dad looks at Parrish?

Smartie- They don’t seem to grasp the fact that he’s bi, apparently there's a limit of one per family

Catwoman- Are you bisexual too?

Smartie- Loud and proud. Although, it can get awkward when dad and I both see a hot person in public. He keeps calling dibs, or claiming seniority

Failwolf- It’s awesome to watch. They both kinda zone out until the person’s out of sight, then push each other for staring in public. It usually ends with Stiles complaining about bruises, while John repeatedly says ‘I’m too old for this’

Smartie- If Scott’s mom is with us, she’ll smack both of us, Scott too if it’s a girl

Catwoman- Sounds violent

Smartie- Nah, no one actually gets hurt, it’s more of a family joke by now

TopDog- Damn, and I thought my family was a mess

Softboi- They are

Catwoman- Stiles’ family just happens to be more obvious in their chaos

Failwolf- Sounds about right

Smartie- Are you almost here Derek?

TopDog- Yeah, few minutes away

Smartie- Good, I don’t think it’d be fun to see everyone’s face when they see how hard it would be to kill Peter

Failwolf- I dunno, I think they’d like the challenge

Smartie- Maybe, Parrish is looking like he’s up for a fight

Catwoman- But is it to defend your honor, or your dad’s?

Smartie- Both? I dunno, might ask him later

Softboi- Why haven’t they just kicked him out?

Smartie- My dad says if he can’t kick me out, they can’t kick him out

Rockman- What’d you do?

Smartie- Confiscate his burger

Rockman- You both should be kicked out

Softboi- Agreed, never take a dude’s burger

Catwoman- I’ve mauled people for less, you’re lucky to be alive

Smartie- In my defense, it’s for medical purposes

Softboi- Still, that was his burger

Failwolf- Stiles is kinda a control freak when it comes to what his dad eats

Smartie- I’d rather he be alive and pissed off than dead with a burger

Failwolf- Stiles, they doctor said to limit his fast food, not nuke it completely

Smartie- Your mom’s on my side! She’s a certified nurse, I think that holds more weight than burger rights

TopDog- Your father’s heart sounds perfectly fine to me

Smartie- I will stab you

TopDog- I’ll just heal though? What’s the point?

Smartie- Your pain, however brief it may be

TopDog- I can call Peter back if you’d like?

Smartie- Sourwolf

Catwoman- I’m loving this, but why are you texting in the gc if you’re both still at the station?

Smartie- Because the longer it takes my father to realise I know Derek, the better

TopDog- Stiles, he’s looking at us….

Smartie- Nevermind, got to go stop my dad from arresting Derek

Rockman- Why is he trying to arrest Derek?

Smartie- He thinks he’s a drug dealer, or some other shady thing that would require him to know the Sheriff’s underaged son

Softboi- Rip @ Derek, lol


	3. Stiles Does Bi?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone thinks Danny and Lydia are attractive, and Stiles starts to adopt the pack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, but here you go. Let me know if you guys like it!

TopDog- I lived bitch

Softboi- Damn, so I can’t take all your money?

Catwoman- Bold of you to assume I would let you take all of his money

Rockman- Guys, you can’t take his money. I’m obviously the favorite

TopDog- None of you get my money, it would go to my family

Catwoman- So...got any siblings looking for a girlfriend?

TopDog- So parents do lie about having favorites… good to know

Failwolf- How’d you survive Papa Stilinski?

Softboi- What the actual hell is that last name?

Failwolf- You should see Stiles’ real first name, it’s terrifying

Smartie- I do know how to kill you, your wolfy power can’t save you if you don’t shut up

TopDog- I’m sure it’s not that bad

Smartie- My dad can’t even pronounce it, and the school had to take it off the attendance sheets after we had three subs quit because they class wouldn’t stop laughing at their pronounciation

Softboi- Oooh, I remember when coach tried to say it

Rockman- When was this?

Softboi- Freshman year, when he threw chair in the hallway

TopDog- Did he throw the chair because he couldn’t say your name, or was it something else?

Failwolf- Stiles kept asking Danny if he was attractive to gay guys

Smartie- It was an important question and he still won’t tell me

Rockman- as someone who can unfortunately smell arousal, I can safely say you are both attractive to gay guys and attracted to gay guys

Smartie- Wait…. werewolves can smell that?

Failwolf- I can’t smell that

Catwoman- That’s because you don’t know how to be a werewolf

Softboi- We gonna skip over Boyd talking about Stiles being gay?

Smartie- I’m not gay, I’m bi!

Softboi- bi*

Smartie- Thank you

Failwolf- It’s not really surprising, he stares at Jackson just as much as he stares at Lydia

Smartie- He may be an asshole, but he’s a damn attractive asshole

Rockman- I don’t know, they both seem pretty conceited

Smartie- Hey man, leave me and my unrealistic relationship goals alone

Catwoman- Don’t worry, Boyd thinks Jackson’s hot too, he just doesn’t like to admit it

Rockman- Outing people isn’t nice Erica

Smartie- You just outed me!

Rockman- We can smell your desperation, no one’s shocked

Smartie- I’ve seen you walk into a wall because Danny smiled at you, you ain’t slick

Softboi- To be fair, Danny’s hot

Failwolf- He really is

Catwoman- Fair, but also, Lydia

Smartie- Valid

Softboi- She terrifies me

Smartie- That’s part of the fun

TopDog- Can you guys stop thirsting over other teenagers, I feel creepy

Catwoman- You’re only a couple of years older than us, you’re good

Smartie- Oh yeah, Derek, my dad demands you and Peter come over for dinner

TopDog- What? Why?

Smartie- It’s his, “So you have no family in Beacon Hills” dinner

Failwolf- My mom and I go ever time, and Parrish and some of the other deputies go every now and then

TopDog- That’s kind of weird

Smartie- Maybe, but it’s nice

TopDog- I’ll see if I can drag Peter. Do we need to bring anything?

Smartie- Chips or macaroni, either works

Softboi- Can I come?

Smartie- Yeah dude, you’re all welcome, just bring a couple of snacks or drinks, and anyone in need of some company

Catwoman- Peter should have bitten you, you’d have made a great werewolf

Smartie- He said that too

Failwolf- Damn, everyone’s so mean to me

Softboi- It’s because you’re a dumbass

Failwolf- yeah, but still


	4. Stiles Knows Everyone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one's as straight as they appear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, and the kinda rushed chapter. I'm updating some of my work, and decided this one needed an update too. If you have anything or anyone you want to see, maybe someone who should join the chat, please let me know!

TopDog- Stiles, why are all the cops glaring at me?

Smartie- You look like a stereotypical bad boy?

TopDog- What does that have to do with them?

Smartie- You talked to me, and multiple other teenagers, so they now assume you either lead a cult, and/or sell us all drugs

TopDog- Have you told them that they’re wrong?

Smartie- Nah, it’s too entertaining

Catwoman- Is that why that nice lady asked if I needed anyone “taken care of”?

Smartie- Probably

Catwoman- Sweet

Rockman- People keep asking who’s dating who in our group

FailWolf- What’d you tell them?

Rockman- Nothing

Softboi- Damn, I told an old lady we have orgies every Friday

Smartie- Isaac! Bad puppy!

Softboi- What! It’s an alibi, isn’t it?

Smartie- She’s going to tell my dad! And the rest of the station! I don’t need another station wide sex talk!

FailWolf- Yeah, that sucked big time

Catwoman- Hey Stiles?

Smartie- Yeah?

Catwoman- Why’s Captain Jackass glaring at you?

Smartie- He thinks I’m obsessed with Lydia

Rockman- Aren’t you?

Smartie- Nope, maybe a bit when I was a kid, but it was mostly me playing it up during my sexuality crisis

Softboi- So you don’t like her?

Smartie- Eh, she’s rude and acts like she’s dumb when in reality we’re tied for 1st in class rank

TopDog- Why’d she do that?

Smartie- She wants to be popular, doesn’t seem to care that none of her “friends” would actually give a damn if she died or not

Rockman- I got a little too close to Jackson, and based on his scent, his glare isn’t entirely hate

Smartie- Huh?

Softboi- He’s horny for you dude

Smartie- Ew

FailWolf- Not surprised

Smartie- How?

FailWolf- He always looks at your ass when we change for lacrosse

Smartie- Seriously? Nice.

Catwoman- You’re cool with a guy who’s been harassing you since Pre-K lusting over you even when he’s got a girlfriend?

Smartie- The only person who’s ever thought Jacks was straight was him, and maybe his parents. Even Lydia’s talked about how their relationship is more one of convenience than of attraction

TopDog- And they’re okay with that?

Smartie- They’re more close friends than lovers, pretty sure Lydia’s had “relations” with all of the cheerleaders anyways

Catwoman- Why have I never known about this?

Smartie- Gotta talk to Danny to get the gossip

Rockman- He just airs out their dirty laundry like that?

Failwolf- He only talks to Stiles about them because they’ve said they don’t care

Smartie- True

Catwoman- I thought they hated you?

Smartie- I have use to them, just not publicly

TopDog- That’s kind of shitty

Smartie- Eh, not really. I tutor and game with Jacks, along with lacrosse practice if he needs a quick match, and Lydia to practice makeup on me. I make them pay me in curly fries and the gossip Danny hasn’t had the time to tell me about

Softboi- Damn, I thought your only friend was Scott?

Smartie- I’m too social for that

Failwolf- We both have other friend groups, we just spend more time together at school

Catwoman- You guys are way less lame than I thought


	5. Fat Cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles has an emotional support cat who likes to roam Beacon Hills. Derek gets to meet him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a hot second, but I haven't had any energy in a while, which is weird because I keep a pretty strict sleep schedule, but whatever. The cat in here is partly based off of my current jackass, and my grandma's old dog, who I grew up with. His name will be Hades, although he hasn't been named in fic yet. Let me know if y'all like it, and if there's any inconsistencies, it's because my brain stopped working. Thanks for reading!

TopDog- Stiles, why is your dad screaming at a cat that just showed up at the station?

Smartie- 1, why are you at the station??? 2, is it a black and gray tabby?

TopDog- I think so? The sheriff keeps saying he isn’t worth his symmetrical stripes

Smartie- Ah, that’s my cat

TopDog- Why is he at the station?

Smartie- He likes to walk around town

TopDog- Isn’t that dangerous

Smartie- Yep

Catwoman- Then why do you let him do it?

Smartie- We don’t. He’s the houdini of cats, learned how to open doors and gates

Softboi- Why’d he learn how to open gates?

Smartie- he’s fat, why would he jump over them when he could reach up and flip it open?

TopDog- Your dad saw me and now I’m on pet sitting duty

Smartie- Just saw you? Either you were trying to hide, which is weird, or you just got there and stared at my dad and cat this whole time, which is weird

TopDog- I was handing in paperwork for an official position

Smartie- That’s even weirder

Rockman- Weren’t you and Peter banned from the station after last time?

TopDog- Only Peter, I bribed the Sheriff with that video of Stiles tripping over that log into the mud

Softboi- The one where he slid all the way down the hill?

TopDog- Yup

Smartie- I got a concussion from that shit, and you guys were just laughing your damn heads off

TopDog- I took you to the hospital afterwards

Smartie- Where I got chewed out by Melissa! She told all the hospital staff I was a recovering addict and you were my dealer!

Softboi- Seriously?

Failwolf- She also told them that Stiles was using his body to get the drugs

TopDog- No wonder everyone gave me weird looks when we left

Catwoman- are you still watching the cat? Can I come pet it?

TopDog- We’re hanging out at the loft, might wanna bring some food or something, he looks grumpy

Smartie- Has he gone out?

TopDog- If he went out, he’d be gone

Smartie- Do you have a litter box?

TopDog- Why would I have a litter box?

Smartie- Dude, he has to shit

TopDog- Oh…

Softboi- I’ll bring a litter box if someone can get litter

Rockman- Got it

TopDog- Why can’t I just take him to Stiles’ house?

Smartie- This isn’t the last time he’ll crash at your place. Once he gets let in, he goes back as often as he can

TopDog- I didn’t sign up for this shit

Catwoman- Says the man eskimo kissing the fattest cat I’ve ever seen

TopDog- He was staring me down

Catwoman- He was on your chest, kneading your pecs, purring so loud I heard it while I was still in the car

TopDog- He’s warm, I’m warm, it works out

Smartie- You can’t steal my cat

TopDog- If I have to clean his shit, he’s mine

Smartie- Dude, my therapist said I need some sort of furry creature to balance me out. If it’s not him, you better figure out a full shit, I need my emotional support

Catwoman- Just hug Scott, he’s scruffy enough as is

Smartie- Nah, he stinks too much. And he’s stressful, defeats the purpose

Failwolf- Derek tried to kill you!

TopDog- Only once

Smartie- Yeah dude, at least he didn’t push me down the slide into Captain Jackass

Failwolf- We were little!

Smartie- It was last week!

Failwolf- Our weeks are so hellish they should count as years

Smartie- Your emo bullshit won’t work on me

Failwolf- Bitch, I took this from your diary!

Smartie- Get out of my diary!

Failwolf- How else am I supposed to learn about circumcision, verbal contracts in Texas, and that one weird Rhino dream you keep having

Smartie- Shut up, that Rhino dream never happened!

Failwolf- I can take a pic of the page I have in my hands rn, or you can go back to trash talking Derek

Smartie- Derek you cat stealing son of a gun!

TopDog- You don’t deserve this wonderful creature!

Smartie- wait until you try to close a door, he’ll claw it from the ceiling down until you open it

TopDog- He would never

Smartie- He totally would

Catwoman- I thought you said he knew how to open doors?

Smartie- Only if no one else is in the house, he likes to pretend he’s sneaky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone got any funny pet stories to share? I've got a few if y'all would like to hear them?


End file.
